So right now I am sitting down with a piece of music. This isnt any piece of music, nope it is the song that I will be conducting the chamber choir with tomorrow. I dont know why but for the first time since having the piece I am connecting to it, and its not your every day ya that piece is nice. No, this is like serious movements of glory and wonder and awe for this piece. I have been needing to connect to this piece for awhile now but it hasnt been coming, i dont fully know why it took me so long to be able to realize all this piece has to offer but i see it now. I also am reminded of just how much beauty, love and life lessons can be learned from music, it isnt the same for everyone and thats ok it doent have to be but there is sincere beauty in music. As a music major sometimes I forget that music really is what makes my life complete and beautiful. i live to sing and perform and study the beauty in music. it isnt until I sit back and let the music become ingrained in me that i fully comprehend all that music has to offer. And that is what has just happened to me. I have connected to a piece so strongly that it brought me to tears. As a conductor it is your job to be able to protray the emotion behind the piece that the original composer intended to share. i understood that in theory but it wasnt until tonight that i FELT that. I know i will be scared out of my mind to lead but i know i need to put that aside for the sake of creating beautiful music. I guess the big lesson im learning right now is what it means to feel like a conductor. im not use to that feeling because up until now it has only been about me. it has been either following the emotions that somebody else is creating for the piece or singing by myself to create the emotion. this just takes all of that up another step. It is about placing yourself in a role and showing that in every part of your body. ok, well i dont know if i am making much sense to any one. I guess what im trying to say is that im learning. Im learning again that i love music, i love the emotions that are conveyed through music and i love how the same piece of music can touch people in different ways. A piece of music that once was just notes and symbols on a page have taken on a life of its own in my heart. I hope i will be able to express my dream and my vision for this piece of music tomorrow and do it the justice it deserves.
just so you know the piece i have chosen to conduct is "Bitter for Sweet" by John Chorbajian, the words are taken from a poem written by Christina Rossetti. if you havent listened to you i encourage you to look it up.